(lygenztia *96) Here doggy-doggy..

People take great care of their pets nowadays, which is good. I have dogs and they "make a family complete" (as a good friend of mine once said). Cats...well I can take them or leave them...but different strokes for different folks.

So, we needed some supplies (Christmas presents actually) for the dogs and decided to go to a major pet food/supply retailer. It's a big store, a fun store....as soon as you walk in you can smell the animals, food etc. The interesting thing..you are welcome to bring your pet in with you.

Now this is where it starts to get weird.

The people that brought their dogs into the store were just not "normal". I didn't see any cats, just dogs...but there was a rather eccentric looking man buying enough cat food to feed 25-30 cats for 2 months. I don't even want to know what that is all about.

One guy..has his dog tightly wrapped in a blanket in the cart and keeps saying to the dog.."it's OK..it's OK..it's OK"...as the dog looks back up at him and thinks to itself " I know it's OK, would you shut the hell up and buy my food?" ( I don't speak dog, but I think that's what the dog was thinking...) The entire time the guys eyes are darting around in some paranoid scan....protecting his dog, in case someone wanted to steal him. Ummmm....ok

Next guy, is walking his dog down the aisles and his wife ( I presume) will not even walk with him. She is 2 aisles away...hiding. This guy was borderline bizarre...he stopped every 3 paces to have a conversation with his dog about the various products.

Now, I do talk to my dogs..things like "Hey buddy" or "do you wann go ou-side"? (dog owners never pronounce the "t") or..."you hungee" (dog owners never pronounce the "r") or "wanna cookie?" or..."you a good boy?"

What I DO NOT do..is have conversations with my dogs. That is just a little over the line.

The last guy I saw with his dog was grinning like a bloody fool. Every single person he walked by, he would have this goofy grin on his face, look at his dog...then look at the person. He wanted the whole world to know he had a dog. His grin was just screaming out "LOOK EVERYONE, LOOK AT MY CUTE DOG!" Newsflash pal...we can see your dog. We get it...you have a dog.

Interesting store.....even more interesting customers.

I am glad that we were able to find the knitted Christmas sweaters for our dogs though....they will come in handy when I take them Christmas carolling with me. (they sing baritone)

(lygenztia *95) Can I help you folks? My name is Vinny....

Do anti-stalking laws apply to commission retail sales clerks? Some of these sales guys are hilarious, honestly. I get that they are trying to make a buck and I have no issue with that. I actually enjoy bargaining with a sales clerk, when I want to buy something. I find it fun....

BUT, some of them are so bad at reading a customer that it is pathetic.

Read the customer, are they a buyer..or browser?

You know how it all goes down.....you walk into the store and you are just looking. Just looking..shopping actually. That's the concept of retail, they display product, you browse and decide whether or not you want to puchase it.

So after you get 14 centimetres down the first aisle, a clerk appears like a genie out of a bottle right out of nowhere.
Sample conversation follows:
Clerk-"Hello folks, can I help you find something?"
Shopper-"No thanks, just looking."
Clerk-"Well, could I interest you in a new bedroom set?"
Shopper-"No thanks, we're just looking..."
Clerk-"We have a great deal on right now on persian rugs.."
Shopper-"No thanks, we're just looking. We'll come get you if something catches our eye."

So you walk down the aisle further and the clerk is about 17 centimetres behind you and your spouse, listening in. If you dare stop moving for one second, or even utter a product name...VROOM, he is right beside you.
Clerk-"Oh, I see you foks are admiring that big screen TV, but you don't want that one..come with me and i'll show you another."
Shopper-"No thanks, just looking."

At this point, buddy is starting to really piss you off and you suspect that he is listening in on the conversation where you and your spouse are bad mouthing an annoying relative.

By then, I have decided that I am not going to buy anything just on principle. But he's still there...watching, listening, following...studying your every move and looking intently at your shoes.

Why is he looking at your shoes? Number one rule in retail, look at the customer shoes. People with buying power typically wear high quality footwear. The clothes themselves don't so much matter, but shoes tell alot about a person's financial situation.

Next time one of these guys do this to me, I'd like to give him a close up look ....by burying my shoe in his ass.

(lygenztia *94) Can I help you sir?

Customer service in Canada sucks. End of story. Period.

If you have ever traveled in the U.S.A., you know what I mean. Customer service in the U.S.A. means something. It’s not just some goofy sign at the door that says “Customer satisfaction guaranteed.” They treat you right.

Not so, in the Canadian neck of the woods.

I am at the grocery store and see a check out clerk talking on a cell phone drinking water. She’s entitled to a break, I think to myself. So, politely I ask…”are you open?” What do I get in return?

She looks at me, doesn’t say a word..”huffs” and hangs up her cell phone. Then, gives me a look like, “you are just the way stupidest person ever”. (Well, maybe she called that one right, but at least hide the look) So, I put my items down and she checks me out, obviously annoyed that I “disturbed her”. If you were on a goddam break, why the hell were you at the cash register?

If you hate your job, then you hate your job. That’s not my issue, so don’t treat me like crap when I come into the place. Go home and scream at your goldfish.

This isn’t an isolated incident and I’m not just bitching because this particular clerk was rude. This is a fairly common experience.

This type of treatment of the Canadian consumer is so prevalent nowadays that we have basically accepted it. That’s too bad.

(lygenztia *93) P.T. Barnum said.."there's a sucker born every minute."

P.T. Barnum was one of the main originators of the Barnum and Bailey circus and some say..a business mastermind. He was quoted saying many things, but one holds true..past, present and future.

He said "there's a sucker born every minute.." (sic) He sure knew what he was talking about.

Take the modern day consumer, for example.

Why do we pay huge money to advertise for fashion clothing makers? You know the names of all the popular ones...I am not going to mention them, for fear of getting my poor self sued and made even poorer.

We go into the stores, staffed by ultra beautiful people with plastic smiles, listen to techno pop in dimly lit aisles and purchase very pricey clothing. We gladly purchase our glitzy, glamorous clothing and wear it, with the manufacturer's name emblazoned on every square inch of it. Or, at the very least, subtly embroidered somewhere on the garment.

We pay big money to buy the clothing and not only that, we pay for the "privilege" of advertising for them.

There is nothing wrong with the clothing. I admit, I wear some of it in an attempt (and a poor one at that) to look good.

But how can a t-shirt from store "A" cost $9.95, when a t-shirt from the fashionable stores can cost anywhere from $40-$80 bucks? We all know that it's basically the same shirt, it's not about the "quality".

Make no mistake, it is about the look. They charge us $80 bucks for a t-shirt and $139.00 for a pair of jeans and you know why?

Because we will pay it, that's why.

Like P.T. Barnum said......

(lygenztia *92) Pffhht...ya, like..whatever

“whatever”

When someone utters this catch all word to you…….then you know you have gotten the better of them.

I was engaging in a veritable cornucopia of verbal diatribe (that’s code for “argument”) with someone the other day. I gave them my version of events and they gave me theirs. Then I gave them mine and that was their comeback….”whatever”.

“Whatever” when said by someone in a debate, signifies that they concede two things:

1) I have lost this argument.
2) I have no further pearls of wisdom to dispel on the subject.

“Whatever” is the way some people get out of an argument/debate that they have lost, while trying to leave with some scrap of their dignity intact.

If you get “whatever”, take some satisfaction that you have “won”. Don’t rub it in, don’t continue..just realize that you have won. It’s like someone saying “Uncle” when the schoolyard bully is giving them a titty twister.

I rarely use the word “whatever” in day to day conversation/debate with others. Now with my wife…hmmm, ya…”whatever”.

(Lygenztia *91) All dogs go to heaven...

Ah Indy. There will never be another one like him. I am not sure why, but I have been thinking about this old dog alot lately.

Indy was a pet dog that we had for about 8 years. Indy was a Bouvier, a very large breed. We acquired Indy when we met the breeder on a bright sunny day. He got out of the back of their van and started to run around a school yard and we were hooked. He ran up to us right away, he licked our faces, wagged his tail and smiled…as only dogs can do. He was coming home with us and that was all there was to it.

He was smart, never went to obedience training..but he came when he was called, stayed on the property and never, ever messed in the house. He loved his house…and his kids. My kids, at the time, were very young. They would poke him in the eye, lay on him, stick their little hands in his massive jaw…and he never so much as flinched. Yes, he loved those kids.

My wife became sick with cancer and spent days on end laying on the couch, while I had to work and the kids were at school. The dog never left her side….he would lay there for hours….watching over her, never fussing…quiet when she fell asleep. It was like he knew she needed her rest.

One day, while I was working someone tried to come in the house…and Indy chased them out of the house, up the street and around the corner. My wife called me crying…scared and upset that the dog would be so aggressive. That day alone, the dog earned every ounce of food that we ever bought him. It was his house and his family and that stranger that chose to come in, did so at his own peril. Courage like that, comes from unconditional love.

As Indy aged, his rear hips got bad. He had some trouble getting up and down and I often had to lift him up stairs and on and off the bed. I felt that he earned the right to be on the bed and never deprived him of that dog luxury. Unfortunately, the pain was starting to get the better of him, but I just could not do what needed to be done. I would muster up the courage and think “today is the day”, but when I looked at him, I just couldn’t do it.

Then, one cold rainy night it happened. I got home late and noticed my son had came into our room and fell asleep on the floor, beside our bed. He rarely did this and he still isn’t sure why he did that night. I looked down and Indy was laying peacefully with my son, nestled in tight to him. I knew as soon as I laid eyes on Indy that he was gone.

He had curled up to my son and slipped away. I never woke my son…I gently lifted Indy up and carefully took him out to the garage and laid him on the couch and covered him up. I cried that night..like I hadn’t cried in years. It hurt me deep to knowing the old fella was gone, but it also felt good to know that he left us at home, with the family he loved.

I have had lots of dogs, some maybe even smarter than Indy. But, there will never be another one like him.

(lygenztia *90) Will that be paper...or plastic?

Have you ever went into a restaurant washroom and saw the nice, environmentally friendly hand washer? They are great, if they work. Good for the environment, lessens waste..everybody is happy. If they work.

I go to use one this afternoon and it is “on”, but the air that it expels is equivalent to a frog burp. If you stood under it for an entire day, it may have dried one of your 8 fingers or two thumbs. (eight if you are a Simpson…no thumbs)

It is soooo aggravating. You have three choices when you come across this scenario.
1) Wipe your hands on your shirt, or pants.
2) Wad up a HUGE ball of toilet paper and use that.
3) Walk out with wet hands and wipe them on someone you know and love.

All are crappy (pardon the pun) choices. Wiping your hands on your shirt is fine if you are not in nice clothes. Me, when I go out in public..I wear nice clothes. I haven’t quite joined the baggy track pants, Velcro tab “sneakers” and dirty t-shirt crowd in public just yet.

The toilet paper dilemna is also problematic. The little bits get all caught between your fingers and there is no “bonus” to the environment when you do this. Besides, people that walk in and see you doing this think that you just did something…well…let’s just say “unusual” in the stall.

Wiping your hands on someone else can be funny and kind of useful, as long as they aren’t bigger than you. And if its your wife, you have to be kinda sneaky and pretend that you are giving her a hug.

Long live the recycled, bio-degradable paper towel, creates jobs..... good for the environment and won’t make me have to pick choices 1, 2…or 3.

(lygenztia *89) Snow day my ass.

Snow day?

What the hell is up with these “snow days”? My kids both go to High School and if a snowflake is spotted in North Bay (400 Kms away), they close the school. Huh?

My daughter was text messaging me this morning, telling me that there was no-one in school and that she wanted to go home. There is no snow on the ground. It all melted last night. There is no snow falling from the sky.

The buses also aren’t running. Why? The public buses are running, I can see them on the road. They seem to be getting around just fine.

So, what do they do in rural northern Ontario? Close the schools all winter? NO!
Many rural roads in Ontario are snow covered all winter long, so that snowmobiles can run on them too. (They pack the snow down and put a light coating of sand on it.) The buses seem to be able to traverse these routes just fine.

TTC drivers in Toronto have a next to impossible job getting around Toronto when it snows, but they still run and they still transport people around the city.

It is ridiculous. People have to get to work in snow. Shouldn’t we be teaching kids that they have responsibilities and that life and work goes on, despite a snowflake 400 kilometres away?

In the real world, people have to get to work, meet deadlines and get the job done. It seems like every year that passes by, school becomes less and less like the real world.

(lygenztia *88) What's he complaining about now?

I frequently get people asking me where I get the ideas for my blog. The reality is, I have more topics/ideas….. than I have time to write them.

We ALL have a bunch of topics (in my case lygenztia’s) everyday in our thoughts, self talk and experiences. Think about it, every day probably 5-10 events are going to make you smile.
Everyday 5-10 events will tick you off. Everyday, at least 20 different events will make you think.
And every so often (hopefully not every day) something will make you sad.

The key is being able to relate your experience to others and see if you can draw any similarities. By far, the most popular topics are the ones with common experiences. Think about it..a topic gets posted about how funny it was when they were at work and someone forgot to file a T-N2Z form with the month end report for accounts payable. Ya, that’s a real laugh riot, unless you work there and you can relate..then it’s probably pretty darn funny.

Sometimes, you write to vent..sometimes with the hope of making people laugh. But one thing is for sure, when you can make them relate to what you are saying…you will always get a smile.

It’s kinda like good old fashioned conversation…just hidden behind a keyboard.

(lygenztia *87) Stop! In the name of the my plastic I.D. card!!

What the hell is up with this "bag check" when you leave Best Buy and other big box stores?
Tell you what, I bought the crap in this bag, so just let me by.

My wife and I were recently Christmas shopping in Best Buy and made some pretty substantial purchases. After we checked out and PAID for our items, we exited the store as any normal people would do. As we are walking out, 2 goofy looking very serious morons say "hey..hey you". I turn around and say (very curtly) "what"?
So, the one kid says "we have to check your bags". What the hell? No, excuse me sir, or pardon me? No explanantion? Just some little wanna be nerd. They weren't even polite about it.

The check out is 8 feet away, they saw us PAY for our stuff and we didn't set off the stupid alarm. So, why not use your common sense? They watched us drop about 500 bucks, then walked through those stupid alarm arches and voila! No alarm..

So, you want to further delay me and go through my bags now? The jack offs could have at least been polite when they approached us.

If the crap we bought wasn't for gifts, I would have taken all the stuff back and told them to jam it.

(lygenztia *86) You'll shoot your eye out kid...HO HO HO

Women should not shop for boys and men without asking them what they REALLY want for Christmas.
(in any reference that follows to "men", you can substitute "boys" and vice versa...as appropriate)

You know why? I'll tell you why....
Women buy stuff for boys and men that women want men to like...... and not what men really want. When you buy something for us what you are really thinking to yourself is..."OOOh, I really like this, it's so cute and I hope that he would like something cute like I would."

Well guess what? We don't want cute. The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. We want gizmo's, liqour, pellet guns, shoot 'em up video games, sports video games..sports equipment, fishing poles and some damn warm boots. We want a remote control that will work every electronic in our house and a camoflauge colour beer fridge.

We want baseball gloves, hockey sticks, lacrosse sticks and a jersey with our favourite player's number on it. We want power tools....and hats with sports team logos on them. We want a gift certificate to Hooters. If your kid wants a BB gun, buy him a damn BB gun and have Dad teach him how to handle and shoot the thing. They will enjoy the time together, the kid will learn some responsibility and he is not going to become Jeffrey Dahlmer because he shot some paper bullseye targets with a damn little BB.

I can tell you this, if you buy us something that you think is cute, we will think that it is dumb. But, we won't tell you, because we don't want to hurt your feelings.

Case in point...I am listening to two women talk about how much one of their nephews loves Spiderman. So, she says she bought him a Spiderman tie....and says guess what? "It's so cute". Tell you what, that kid is going to open that thing up on Christmas morning and throw it aside like yesterday's cereal bowl. What kid wears a tie anyway, unless it's his school uniform? What are you doing, trying to make the poor thing the target of bullying? Nothing says cool like wearing a Spiderman tie to grade 5 math class.

Tell you what, you want to make the kid happy? Buy him a Spiderman webshooter that attaches to your wrist and shoots a little "spider string" and a harmless rubber dart. Let the kid shoot the family cat in the ass and make it jump 9 feet in the air..that will make the kid laugh and enjoy his gift. (Relax cat lovers, the cat is fine and this only serves to sharpen its reflexes...it's a favour to the cat.)

As for men....buy us some dumb ass sweater that matches your favourite pants that YOU think is cute and we will bury that sucker deeper than Jimmy Hoffa, the very first chance we get.

Get us what we want for Christmas. It's not that hard, we'll tell you.

Merry Christmas

(lygenztia *85) We were so sophisticated...

When I was a kid in Bowmanville..

-a trip to the “O.C.” was huge
-opening weekend for trout fishing was a town holiday.
-we hung out at the “Mall”.
-the north end kids made fun of the south end kids, who made fun of the lake kids, who made fun of the north kids, who made fun of the south kids…repeat.
-we skated on frozen creeks, without the help of our parents.
-we swam in the creek.
-for excitement…we would “ride bikes”.
-for fun, we would hang out in apple orchards and corn fields.
-we built “underground forts” by the creek, that consisted of a hole that could barely fit one kid and his flashlight. But hey, it was a “fort”.
-we had apple, crab apple and “dirt bomb” fights. If you cried when you got hit, you got it way worse.
-we played “guns” and there was a strict code of honour if you got “shot” and you had to lay down, lest you be chastised by all of your friends.
-we did not play man-hunt. We played hide and seek. Some dumb kid would always run away and hide 2.6 miles from “home”, so that not even a heat seeking helicopter could find him. Usually, we just left them there.
-there was NO “saving the bunch”.
-75 cents could buy you enough candy to be able to share with your friends.
-we weren’t quite sure what soccer was, but wondered if fighting was allowed.
-the only store that was open on Sunday was “North End Market” and you had to know the secret password to get in.
-the church-goers would fight like cats and dogs to keep stores closed on Sundays, then spend all day Sunday in restaurants…after church.
-ice cream at Franks’ on Sunday night and a drive to the lake to watch the boats was a BIG deal.
-we all sang Christmas Carols in school and made macaroni and sparkle decorations.
-we NEVER got sent home from school because of snow.
-we were allowed to have snowball fights and often, the teachers joined in.
-If your dad didn’t work at GM, you lied and said he did….. so you would fit in.
-parties at Elephant Hill, Cotton Creek and Jackman Creek were commonplace. So were fights…
-you complained to your buddies about how crappy your school was (Central Public), then meet a kid from another school (Lord Elgin) and tell him his school stunk and yours was the best.
-if they said your name on the school PA, everyone in the class would say..”oooooooh”
-if you had a mini-bike, you were automatically cool. (sadly, this rule did not apply to me)
-it was totally mind blowing to see an un-marked police car.
-if a kid visited from Toronto, we would all gather around them in awe and ask them if they had any “pop rocks”.
-there was at least one kid that started smoking in Grade 4 and his parents and teachers were fine with that.
-when a new kid moved into town, nobody would talk to them for 3 months…”just in case”.
-if you went to Bowmanville High School, the girls were much prettier at Courtice High School. If you went to Courtice, the girls were much prettier at Bowmanville High School.
-pretty much every car in the High School parking lot was a piece of junk. Booster cables, flat tires and raised hoods were commonplace.
-a trip to McDonalds in Oshawa was something you bragged about for 2-3 weeks.
-rumours and gossip spread faster than they do now…without the internet.
-the brawl that started at the Castle on Thursday nite, became the brawl that continued on TJ’s on Friday nite, which finished up at the Marina on Saturday nite.


Yes, we were very sophisticated.

(lygenztia *84) Toronto......is consistent.

One thing I will give the City of Toronto is this….it is a consistent city.

Whenever I make the trek into the city, I know I can count on the following:

-some jerk will cut me off and nearly kill me and 3 other people.
-some jerk will cut right to the front of a line up at an on/off ramp…and then get mad when you don’t let them in.
- I will see at least 5 different vehicles run a red light.
-some jerk with nicer shoes and coat than I have, will ask for spare change for “coffee”.
-some pedestrian with no regards to cars/trucks will walk right into the middle of a busy 4 lane road, like the Danforth or Kingston Road.
-there will be an accident on the DVP
-some weasel like, little rat face nerd (male) will bud in front of a bunch of ladies to get on an elevator first.
-numerous intersections and traffic lights will be blocked for construction, making it impossible to get anywhere.
-a taxi driver will do a 3 point turn, blocking off all traffic, then give everyone that waited for him the finger as he drives away. Thanks…..
-I will see some jerk fighting with a green hornet (parking ticket person) over a ticket that they know they should have gotten anyway.
-there will be nowhere to park, except for a privately run lot that cost $39.00/hour.
-I will have to make my way through a wall of 15 smokers to get into a building. (can’t they make them go in a back alley, or something?)
-I will see the CN tower and chuckle to myself….. thinking that, pathetically, this is what the city of Toronto is best known for.
-I will think about my wife’s (and mine) favourite restaurant, the “Palace” on Pape.
-some peaceful shop keeper will give me a friendly smile that reminds me that the people really are, overall, pretty great.

But, in keeping with my rant……to hell with the jerks.

(lygenztia *83) Is it just me, or are they friggin' out to lunch?

OK, I plan to interview my mom. I need to know a few basic things, as my memory has lapsed from key times in my teen years.

I need to put into perspective the behaviours of "my teenagers" vs. "my" teenage behaviour...as re-lived from my mom's perspective. Because, you see, to me.... my teenagers are unbelievably out to lunch. Both are smart, get great marks, are well behaved and active in the community. They rarely give my wife and I any "real" trouble. For that I am thankful and proud.

Where they lose me, is the lack of common sense.
At school? Smart....
At home? Duhhhh..

So, this is the battery of questions that I will have for my mother and depending on how I feel, I may just post the answers.

1) Did I fight with my sister over toothpaste?
2) Did I constantly put EMPTY pop-tart, cereal and assorted boxes back in the pantry?
3) Did I NEVER pick up a wet towel in my life?
4) Did I never clean my room, unless threatened with punishment, then carry on like a victim all day for the slave labour that I had been forced to do?
5) Did I ALWAYS leave garbage on the counter, when the garbage pail is less than an arms length away?
6) Did I ALWAYS "forget" to rinse my dishes and put them in the dishwasher?
7) Did I never hang up my coat?
8) Did I ever leave granola bar wrappers under the couch? Ewwwww!!!
9) Did I ever fight with my sister over absolutelty nothing?
10) Did I ever "forget" to let the dog(s) out for like 11 straight hours?
11) Did I ever get home from school, drop everything, make a snack, leave a small disaster in the kitchen, lay on the couch, watch TV (now video games) and then wonder why you were mad at me that the house was a disaster when you got home?
12) Did I put an EMPTY milk jug back in the fridge?
13) Did I leave an un-eaten lunch in my knap sack for 9-10 weeks?
14) Did I leave an un-eaten meal under my bed for 9-10 weeks? (we usually find these by smell...)
15) Did I ever ask you where my shoes were? Last time I checked...I don't wear my kids shoes.
16) Did I sleep until 5PM in the afternoon on weekends and then wander into the kitchen and say.."Oh my gawd, I am sooo tired" Huh? You just slept for 17 straight hours!!!!
17) Was I physically incapable of turning off a light switch, or TV?
18) Did I "study" while listening to an iPod, have eight different internet conversations going and watch TV all at the same time? OH, and talk on the phone and text message too. Forgot that.
19) Did I mention, did I fight with my sister over absolutely nothing?

So, while I am at it, does anybody have any other items they would like to add to the list of questions?

Mom is going to have some pretty interesting answers.

(lygenztia *82) GM...keep an open mind.

I am really starting to get angry at all of the media attention that is focused on GM and their woes.
How come Ford and Chrysler seem to be getting a free pass?
The media seem to be bashing GM mercilessly, while you hear next to nothing about the other "Big 3".
GM quality...blah, blah, blah...
GM debt...blah, blah, blah
GM sales...blah, blah, blah

Quit picking on them. You mean to tell me that the other manufacturers aren't in the same boat? Pffhtt.
Fiddlesticks.

ALL the cars are good, well built machines....no matter who the manufacturer. It's more or less a matter of preference.

My Dad made his life at GM. I was a summer student at GM. They not only made factories...they made communities. And that ain't so bad.

I don't currently drive a GM vehicle, but when the Camaro comes out..sign me up.

Reliving my teen years and doing my part. Good deal.

(lygenztia *81) Is busy good?

Ever notice that everybody that you run into nowadays is "busy"? C'mon..don't tell me you haven't.
Bump into someone at the grocery store and ask them..."How you doing?"
Answer? "busy"
Not good..or fine, or fantastic.

The response is always ..."busy".

Canadians have evolved. I can remember (and it's not that long ago) when we took pride in doing nothing. Lazy, hanging out..drinking..doing as little work as possible.

That has all changed. We run, we scurry, we hustle...we go from dropping the kids off to school, to work to getting home stuff done on the computer (at work), to getting stuff done on our lunch hour..to rushing home to get to the gym..then home to get supper ready..help the kids with homework, clean up supper..get them to hockey..get home do some laundry and some volunteer work..catch a half hour of TV..then bed.

Busy. Crazy busy. Always in perpetual motion....

But, is it good? We force ourselves to be so busy...we make all the hustle and bustle happen. But, would the sun still rise tomorrow morning if we weren't quite so busy?

Probably.

Productivity is good. Working hard is good. Making the wheels of the machine turn is very important.

But if the wheel isn't balanced...it comes off the axle.

Work hard. Play hard. But don't let busy over-take you. Everything will be there tomorrow....including the sunrise.

(lygenztia *80) "All I want for Christmas...."

OK, this is not an anti-wife rant. These are just tips. Tips to keep the peace, that's all. So for all the ladies out there...chill out.

I am just trying to be pro-active and prevent domestic strife. Since the invention of shopping, this activity has probably caused more domestic disurbances than alcohol.

Men usually will go shopping willingly and might even enjoy it..if you are made aware of a few of our idiosyncracies. So, if your husband agrees to accompany you Christmas shopping, there are some do's and dont's that you need to be aware of:

DO's............

1) DO stop about every hour for a beer. 'nuff said.
2) DO tell him approximately what time you are heading home.
3) DO ask him what he might like for Christmas. You won't get us what we really want anyway (a gift certificate for the liquor store), but at least pretend like you might want to get us something we want. It makes us feel all "Christmas-ee".
4) DO leave him a list of what you want for Christmas. Women will do strange things like drop a hint in August at some little obscure shop, without actually saying they want something. Just leave us a list..we'll get it. Rely on hints at your own peril. One year I bought my wife a glow in the dark remote control...pretty sure by her reaction when she opened it, that she meant something else. Very, very sure.
5) DO surprise him by buying him something. Grab him a hat, or a t-shirt, or some shiny thing when he's not looking. Men aren't that smart...we'll just go aroung grinning the rest of the day because we got something. (++NOTE++ Beer does not count as something++)
6) DO allow us to spend a little time in the sporting goods or tool section of the stores. To be honest, after sex these are the things that we think the most about.
7) DO go out for supper after you're done. It's a fantastic way to end the day and there is no rush to get home and look at everything...again. (see DO NOT #6)


DO NOT'S..................

1) DO NOT hold up 2 baby outfits and ask him what colour is cuter. Guys have no idea what cute is and God help us all if you are relying on our opinion of "cute". Unless it is a Hooters girl, or football cheerleader, men are completely unqualified to judge "cute".
2) DO NOT hold up 2 toys and ask a man which toy the 3 year old nephew that he has never met would like better. It rattles us bad...we just can't cope with the pressure of this decision.
3) DO NOT act meek in big line ups and busy stores. If you want it, get in there! If you want in line to check out, step up and get yourself set in a spot. Don't stand sheepishly 30 metres from the closest line, hoping some nice clerk will come and help you....ain't gonna happen.
4) DO NOT take your husband anywhere near the lingerie/underwear scetion unless you are getting something for yourself. He will be more than happy to help you pick that out.
5) DO NOT get jealous when the gorgeous 95 pound model in a fancy designer store pays attention to your husband. I have news for you...they are paid to do this. She is not interested in your husband, who is twice her age, wearing track pants...a spagetti stained t-shirt and a camouflage hat that says "Get 'r Done".
6) DO NOT force him to look at everything again when you get home and lay it out on the bed. We have already seen it....we were there.

Enjoy your shopping.

Merry Christmas!!!

(lygenztia *79) Difference between 2:30 and 6: 30? Night and day…

Ever notice that you don’t meet jerks at 6:30AM? I couldn’t sleep this morning, so I took one of the dogs out for an early morning jaunt. It was cold this morning, bitter cold. I wanted to turn back and go home, but the dog gave me a look like….”aw..c’mon..let’s go!!”

First people I meet, were a running club all smiling and laughing..despite the cold. Some stopped to say hi to the dog and went on their merry way. Next, a man coming out of a coffee shop stops to say hi and meet the dog. We have a nice conversation, wish each-other well and off he goes.

Just then, Ron Hooper pulls up to the coffee shop. Ron is a local merchant and Town Councilor, an absolute pillar of my community. He sees my predicament (150 pound Mastiffs aren’t welcome in coffee shops) and offers to buy me a coffee. I told him I would pay, as he was helping me, but he would have none of that.

Walking home, content and sipping my coffee I bypass two strangers. Both times, we mutually greeted each other with a cheery “good morning”.

Now if it’s 2:30 in the morning and a group is running towards me? Well, I’m running for cover. If it’s 2:30 and a man I don’t know stops to say hi? I got my hand on my wallet and an eye on his hands. A guy offers to buy me a coffee at 2:30AM? Ya right. Uhhh…no thanks.

It is amazing the difference that 4 hours can make.

(lygenztia *78) Merry Christmas Sandy Mctire...

Sandy Mctire is the fictional character on Canadian Tire money. I was recently in Canadian Tire (a fine store) and got to thinking about how to me, they represent Christmas.

Sounds strange I know, but to a kid that was from a small town (it was small back then) Canadian Tire was Christmas.

Canadian Tire was the major retail store in town and come Christmas, out come the toys and decorations. Back then, they did not carry toys outside of the Christmas season, so when they started to come in, it was a huge event for local kids. You knew that when Canadian Tire put out the toys, Santa Claus couldn't be too far behind. It was all so exciting. Imagine that...look at the catalogues and dream...then go down to the Canadian Tire with my little sister, look at all the toys and get excited.

I remember one year I badly wanted a Steve Austin "Six million dollar man" action figure (doll) and they had one in real life display! I told my sister how badly I wanted one and made sure that she could describe it to my parents and tell them how badly I wanted one. (Yes, I did get one...if you are curious)

Back then, Canadian Tire also took the time to display and sell Santa Claus Parade fund raiser buttons.

There was just something so magical about it. Maybe I am looking at it from the rose coloured glasses of old age, but it seems like Christmas wasn't quite so over-done back then. Maybe that's why the memories of it are so vivid and pleasant.

People broke out the same old decorations year after year and didn't just run out and get whatever was in fashion that year. It was so exciting..the decorations would come out, my older sister would make some fudge and we would decorate. It was hilarious. My younger sister and I would "decorate" and put things in the most unusual places. Once we went to bed, Mom would just change them around so they had some type of flow to them and didn't look ridiculous.

Then for the "shopping". Dad made a point of giving us his Canadian Tire money to go Christmas shopping with. He also supplemented it with some "real" cash of course, but it amazed me how much you could get with your Canadian Tire money "back then".

We would run home with our presents and wrap them, while playing Christmas carols using tape and paper bought from......Canadian Tire.

I still enjoy going to Canadian Tire to see the Christmas displays, walk around and spend some time with my memories. And great memories they are....

God, I yearn for simpler times...and a tiny, innocent hand that's full of scrunched up Canadian Tire money.

(lygenztia *77) Nothing to see here folks...'cept my truck.

Courier drivers can be jerks sometimes. They park their great big panel trucks wherever they like, block traffic and then they have the gall to wave at you, as you are trying to veer around the giant mess they have created.

I just love when they do that. They are blocking all vehicular movement on the street, parking lot..... whatever and then they look back at the people they are blocking (on the way to delivering the package) and wave. The "wave" is supposed to convey something like this...

"it's OK folks, i'm a courier. Nothing to see here, everything is under control. Just wait in your vehicles until I can finish delivering this package of multi-level marketing soap and society will be a better place."

I quite understand that it can be a difficult, physical job. I quite understand that you need to deliver goods to the customer. What I DO NOT understand is that some drivers feel they have an ordained right from a higher being to park anywhere they choose and block as many people as they choose.

Try wallking the extra 30 metres to park properly, the chaos you avoid may even get you to your next call quicker.

(lygenztia *76) Gestures are louder than words..

Have you ever noticed that you can tell everything about a person/people, simply by a gesture they make?

Case in point, sunday morning I stop at the good old convenience store...it's snowing, cold, drizzle..just a generally dismal morning.

As I walk up to the store entrance, some piece of crap truck pulls up right to the door, blocking 2 gas pumps. All the normal minded citizenry simply park in the designated area, which is what reasonable people do.....but, obviously, they are far too important for that.

Out jumps his spouse, cigarette butt in mouth (very sexy). She throws the butt down by the gas pumps (brilliant) and runs for the door to get in before me. So, once through the door..she basically slams it in my face. All the time, the truck is idling (at the pumps) probably beacuse the piece of junk won't start if Cleetus shuts it off. Cleetus doesn't care if he risks blowing everyone up. Cleetus figures all them "fancy-smancy rules" are all just a bunch of bull***t dreamed up by some smarty pants college graduate.

So great, you beat me to the door. Whatever....

I casually glance into the truck, it's full of garbage, the cigarette butts are over-flowing in the ashtray and the driver is, you guessed it...smoking.

So, they come roaring in, block 2 gas pumps, throw down a butt at the pumps and make a fast break for the door to get in before the other people heading into the store. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about how they feel about other people.

Am I wrong?

Oh, and by the way.....give you two guesses what these Einstein types were buying....

(lygentzia *75) Ever get the “look”?

You know what I get a kick out of? Coming out of the gym and going straight to the store. I love the “look” that people give you when you walk into a store, sweat-stained, wearing shorts in 10 degree weather. They look at you as if you had just made sexual advances at their cat.

It is a funny “look”.

Sometimes after a workout you want to go straight to a store to grab a drink, grab something for supper…maybe pick up milk. (because there hasn’t been any in the house for two days) The hilarious part about getting the “look”? You wonder just how oblivious to this brave new world the person is.

You want to say to them something like this…”Hello, I’ve been at a gym, you know.... a G-Y-M? It’s this new fangled thing they have nowadays to help keep people active and in shape.”

The ironic part?
The people that give you the “look” are the ones that could most use a G-Y-M themselves.

(lygenztia *74) Penny for your thoughts...and Canada.

Well, my thoughts?

We should abolish the damn penny, that's what I think. What the heck good is this piece of currency in this day and age? Round everything up, or down to the closest nickel. How hard can that be?

The Canadian Mint would save on producing them and Canadians would be forced to take the buckets, jars and ceramic gnomes full of pennies back to the bank for real cash.

My idea is this:

Tell Canadians that they have until March 31st, 2009 to "turn in" their pennies at face value. Give us the option of donating all, or a portion of the turned in pennies to the Government. All turned in pennies can then be converted to dollars for re-investment by the Canadian government. That way, the money is "real" money and not just more money printed by the Government. (which messes with inflation)

Afterwards, the pennies would be sold by the Canadian Mint for scrap metal on domestic and international metal markets. All the revenue that is generated goes to a fund that is dedicated 50% to retaining real, sustainable CANADIAN jobs and 50% to improving services for Seniors.

I don't know how many pennies are out there, but in our house alone there is enough to weigh down a damn wheelbarrow. I am sure that it's the same in most Canadian households.

This alone would stimulate our economy and generate huge revenue for the Country in these tough economic times.

Tough times call for tough measures.

Who is with me on this?

(lygenztia *73) In Flanders Fields....

I wanted to write something to honour our veterans today and really struggled to come up with words. Nothing I say, think, or do, can even begin to compare to the sacrifices they made, the courage they showed and the selfless actions they took…for us.

Canada is at war, right now. Afghanistan. Has it ever occurred to me to leave my cushy job, sign up, fight for my Country and do my part? No. It hasn’t. And I don’t mind telling you, sometimes I am ashamed of myself for that.

I am proud to say that I know a few Veterans. I sit in Lodge with them and I have sat in the Legion with them. One thing that always strikes me, is the peaceful nature of their eyes and gentleness of their actions. Having seen horrors and suffered in ways that we can only imagine, they soldier on, at peace with themselves. For some, it must be very difficult.

These were men that loved us enough to leave loved ones and jobs to go to war. They left everything behind, because it was the right thing to do. Good Lord, where would be right now without them?

We owe our Veterans everything, but sometimes I can’t help but feel that Canadians do not do enough. At the very least, consider joining the Legion. Their numbers are down, they have relaxed the entrance requirements and I am sure they could use the financial support.

I’ll be at the service on Remembrance Day. It’s the least I can do.

Hope to see you there.



In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields.

- John McCrae

(Lygenztia *72) No way....really? Are you sure?

The Tim Horton's that I go to (and love) is currently under construction. There are 6 foot fences almost all the way around it, there is a massive "hole" in the parking lot and there are tractors and machines everywhere. The dining room has wires hanging everywhere and the walls are right down to the studs. There is no "counter"...yet.

You can see the construction from the next Town.

There are MASSIVE signs that say "DINING ROOM CLOSED-DRIVE THROUGH ONLY".

So, as I am in the drive through line up this morning, at least 6 people pulled in the parking lot, got out of their cars and walked up to the mega fence/door. Worse yet, these rocket scientists were looking for ways through the fences.

The place looks like Fort Knox on the outside and like a hurricane hit the inside.

Like ya, for sure they're open pal. You just went to the wrong door. There's a "secret" door in the back, where the "real" counter is, because they are open inside..if you can get past the holes in the floor, exposed wiring and lack of walls.

Are some people really that oblivious to their surroundings? I guess they are......

(lygenztia *71) We're here for a good time..not a long time.

It won't be long until my daughter and son are off to University. My son's hockey and lacrosse days are almost over and he has been fortunate to be able to have played Rep for almost all of his hockey and lacrosse "career". My daughter is very fortunate to have a well paying, part time job. She works alot of hours every week and can balance this with school and friends. I admire her so much for that.

Rep hockey in Canada, is a lifestyle. It is not an activity. It becomes your social circle and for the most part, severly limits your ability to socialize with "outsiders".

Most people that do not have a child playing Rep Hockey do not understand it.

The part with the sports, etc. ending doesn't really bother me. It will be "weird", but I won't cry about it...if you know what I mean.

For me, it means new opportunities to develop myself and put more time into other interests. Which means, a much less hectic life. My wife and I volunteer in the community, so we have the outside interests to keep us active, vital and connected to the community.

The people that I feel sorry for, are the ones that have allowed their child's hockey to completely take over their life, in every way. Beleive you me, they exist. I see them around after their kids are done playing hockey and they are completely lost.

They do not have a clue what to do with themselves. They are lost, have no identity of their own and have a huge void in their lives that they just can't seem to fill.

It's important to live for your kids, they come first always. But it's also important to have your own "outside" interests and social circles.

(lygenztia *70) NO CALL list? Ya, right!

How in the hell is this new "no call list" supposed to work? I call the number to get us taken off telemarketer lists and we now get more calls now than before I signed up.

And get this, you can call and give them any number to have placed on the "no call list". Great security. So, I could call (don't worry I won't) and have my neighbour placed on the "no call list"? Brilliant and obviously well thought out. What if my neighbour wants these calls? I mean, there is nothing quite like sitting down to a family meal, only to have the phone ring and someone is selling automatic potato peelers that can also trim your fingernails.

Does anyone actually buy stuff from a telemarketer? ("Cold calling" in business talk....) I guess they must, or they wouldn't do it. It's just that it's such an odd concept.

Think about it......

"Hello Mr. Smith, we are selling vaccum cleaners for $3200.00 but only if you act now! All we need is your Visa # sir..."

Well hell ya! Let me just buy that product sight unseen AND give you my credit card number.

Stop calling me, for crying out loud....I don't want your crap.

(lygenztia *69) Hello...historic event here...hello?

I go into a cell phone store the morning after the U.S. Election to buy a new ear bud for my cell phone. I am not saying which cell phone outlet. I'll be damned if i'll advertise for the great Canadian rip off. Check out U.S. cell rates, they are approx half what we pay, in some cases even less.

Anyway, they are just opening the store and the 2 clerks and I start some casual conversation. Both are "young", which in my eyes..... means less than 30. One of them goes over and turns on a very large plasma TV, pre-tuned in to a news channel.

What happened next either scared me, shocked me, or made me sad. One of the clerks looked at the tv and said..."Oh look Obama won..." The other clerk said..."wow, no way. That's wild eh?"

WHAT? What alternate universe were they in that they did not realize that Obama had won until 10AM the next day?

I am not saying that everyone should live for U.S. politics, but this was an event that eclipses most that have occurred in current history. What the U.S. does is their business, but how could you not be aware of what happened until 10AM the next day?

Who wouldn't be interested in history in the making?

(lygenztia *68) Do we have any peanut butter?

Food…I don’t understand my kids. A common refrain that can be heard in our home is “there’s nothing to eat” (insert whiney drawl here) If you LOOK, you will find cooked meat, cheese, fruit, yogurt, Kraft Dinner, cereal, bagels, granola bars, soup, crackers…etc. etc. etc.

So, feeling guilty when I hear the familiar complaint “there’s nothing to eat”….. I go to the grocery store and spend what amounts to almost a mortgage payment on “snacks” and quick and (hopefully) healthy foods.

Then inevitably, a few weeks later I am throwing things out that have expired. As I do, my son is looking over my shoulder into the fridge. What does he say? “there’s nothing to eat”.

The lack of food is not the problem, being able to see the food is the problem.

Maybe they need to eat more grapefruit and carrots. They say they are good for your eyes.

(lygenztia *67) I need some air support here!!!

Over the thundering plains comes mine enemy. I grimace, I prepare and I brace myself for the upcoming battle. I have fought this battle many times and in the end, I am victorious, but the battle always comes with a price.

I fight with the most meager of weapons, sometimes my bare hands. My enemy is from forces that are so colossal, that I cannot even begin to comprehend their power. My battle plan, is the waiting game. I strike in small numbers with stealth…as to fully confront my enemy with all his might would be sure folly.

The battle I speak of…is with my leaves. I have two absolutely beautiful trees behind my house on “town” property. One is a majestic old Oak, the other a very stately, vital Maple. The trees leave enough leaves on my back yard to drive me to drink. (wait, maybe I should thank/hug them for that)

So, every Fall I do battle with these leaves. The more you rake, the more the fall….they just keep falling and falling…and falling. I think I have spent about 60 bucks on yard waste bags at the Home Depot. Jeez, the clerks there know me by name now.

My plan, this year, was to remove some fence boards fire up my leaf blower and send these trespassers from whence they came. However, I needed a “lookout” on the other side of the fence and my son absolutely balked at the idea. I didn’t want to hit anyone with leaves and I also didn’t know if the Town would want to fine me, for returning the leaves. (which are rightfully theirs anyway…..) So, I abandoned that plan.

Well, now comes the fun part. I have two very large dogs. Large dogs eat and they also correspondingly leave (pardon the pun) little (actually very big) presents. I used to put the leaves in the environmentally friendly brown bags by hand. Bare hands. Well, you know what is coming next.

A great big handful of leaves and a great big handful of…OH MY GOD! Yuch…Forever and anon, I will wear gloves when scooping leaves. I consider this as a casualty of battle and makes me a candidate for the Purple Heart.

I swear these damn leaves will make you paranoid. I rake, I bag, I stack bags, the yard is “clear” of the enemy. I stop for a well-deserved beer. Well, in the time it takes to grab one beer, the yard is again full of leaves. Jeez, I turn my back for one second and the little bastards attack again!

The only hope of victory is that eventually, I will have captured all of the enemy soldiers. Unfortunately, between my investment in leaf bags and hand sanitizer, the price of battle is high.

(lygenztia *66) Game on!

The decline of Canadian society can be directly attributed to a decreasing registration in minor hockey. The barometer of the collective community conscience can be directly traced to the number of kids in the area that play minor Hockey. In Toronto, it is reported that some hockey centres are seeing a decrease in registration by 10% per year. Some are dangerously close to folding. Some of the once mighty hockey areas, are gone. Case in point, Wexford Hockey in Scarborough. Gone....not enough interest anymore.

Tell you what, youth crime in Scarborough sure isn’t gone.

(Ironically, girls Hockey registration is growing exponentially. Maybe they know something we don’t, are smarter...or likely....both.)

Canada has become so diverse that we have no convergent interests anymore, which range from community, to sports, to education. We are all living in these insular cocoons, trying to preserve our vision of what the community is. The same can largely be said for our great country. The collective love of anything, is all but gone.

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with Cricket, Soccer, or Basketball. (a Canadian Dr. James Naismith invented the game of Basketball....the Americans HATE to be reminded of that.) What disturbs me is that we are starting to discard Hockey, in favour of other activities and viewing Hockey as “not as sophisticated”. Canadians have somehow, for some reason adopted this notion, that if it is from another country, it must be better.

I was speaking to a Soccer parent once about Hockey and their comment was “it’s too rough..” They scrunched their face up in disgust, as if the game was some type of social leper. It made me sad. Soccer is a great game, but is not devoid of “roughness”. Soccer has its hooligans...and you mean to tell me that parents have never gotten out of hand at a Soccer game? Ya, right....

It seems, at least to me, that everything that is collectively Canadian is endangered. People laugh at, or ridicule what we hold dear...some want to change the foundation of what we are, in favour of a new, fragmented self serving vision. Change is good, evolution is necessary...but do we have to abandon, or discard our history?

I think that it’s important to change with the new, but that it is even more important to recognize, preserve and respect history. Our history and identity (whether you like it or not) in recent times is largely identified with Hockey. Hockey transcends race, politics, gender and should be a part of our collective ideals.

Canada was largely united by Hockey and.... radio. Foster Hewitt once held the attention of almost all of Canada, as he broadcasted NHL games over the radio from the gondola at Maple Leaf Gardens. If you want a great read and some insight as to just how powerful the influence of Hockey was in uniting Canada, read his biography. A game...has done more to bring us together than any force in Canadian history.

So, stick up for Hockey. Play Hockey. Defend Hockey. Hockey is sophisticated, it’s fun and it’s who we are.

Hockey is Canada....and so it should be.


http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2008/11/30/7580846-sun.html

(lygenztia *65) Soft, like a chocolate chip...

So, I am taking down the Hallowe’en display early this morning. I set up some old wooden palates, skeletons and corpses to help the kiddies have some fun. Took me ‘bout 2 hours to set up and ‘bout an hour to tear down.

Anyway, I am out front, the neighborhood is quiet, sun is coming around and the air is crispy. I decide to bring Matti out front with me. Matti is our pet dog, a Neopolitan Mastiff. Matti is big and imposing looking…but gentle. She cares not for other dogs and for the most part ignores them, as she sees herself as a person, not a dog. Her only “fault” if you could call it that, is that you do not want to incur her wrath if you become aggressive with Kelly (Matti’s “mom”) or our kids. She can go from sleepy Matti to “you don’t want to mess with me” in warp speed, if she senses that they are threatened. Call me a neanderthal (many do) but I gotta tell you, I dig that.

Anyway, I am ripping down the display enjoying the morning and Matti is sleeping on the front lawn “helping me”. Mastiff’s are estate dogs and stick to their property, it’s just how they are.

Along comes a man, whom I do not know, walking his dog. His dog, is a very, very tiny terrier of some kind. It likely weighed less than 3 pounds. Fine, whatever, not my kind of dog…but to each their own.

So he stops at the streetlight pole in front of my house, while his dog takes a chocolate chip size poo, on MY lawn. So, as “fifi” does its business this dumb ass looks at me and says..”you know that dog really should be tied up…”. I actually thought he was joking and started to laugh, but his facial expression told me he was quite serious.

Smiling, I tell “fifi’s” daddy that Matti is harmless and that he needn’t worry, but my words are wasted as he bends over to pick “fifi” up…….looking quite concerned and disgusted. (of course, he waits for “fifi” to leave his little chocolate chip on my lawn.)

I gotta tell you, at this point I broke into open laughter. Matti is laying on the lawn, barely aware of “fifi” and his owner. “Fifi” and his daddy walked quickly away…locked arm in arm, clinging to each other for safety, comfort and security.

So, this dude has no issue with his dog leaving little brown marbles everywhere but feels that my dog should be tied up on my own property?

As he is walking away…I ask him, “hey, what about the “present” your dog left on my lawn?” His response? “That wasn’t my dog..”. Huh? What the hell? I couldn’t get angry, the picture of him scurrying away holding on to his dog, as they clung to eachother for dear life, reduced me to open laughter.

I could only hope that as they continued their walk that they did not encounter any killer chipmunks.

(lygenztia *64) No mind control chip for me, thanks. Sniff...

Flu shot? Ya right….

I am not going to mess around with my immune system anymore. They brow beat us to death to get this damn shot every year, which in and of itself should be of concern to the citizenry.

Case in point, 1996. I got my first ever flu shot. I was proud as a peacock for doing my civic duty to avoid getting sick and be a productive citizen. Well, guess what? I was as sick as sick is, all winter long and ended up having to take 2 weeks off work. I was a day from having to be admitted to hospital to be re-hydrated. Boy, that was fun. Even after I got “better”, I never really felt better until the spring.

I decided never to get a flu shot again.

Well, after being brow beaten and given that old excuse..”well you know, the shot doesn’t cover you for ALL strains of the flu.” (Huh? So the really bad strains can still get you? Gosh, that’s reassuring….) So, reluctantly, last year, I relented and got a flu shot at a public clinic. Well, guess what? Rewind and replay 1996. Sick again, from November until about April. Oh yeah, like that’s a coincidence.

From 1997 to 2006, (when I did not get the flu shot) I got nothing more than the usual mild colds. OK, I am not a Doctor and this was no controlled clinical trial, but I like to play the odds.

You can go right ahead, get in line like cattle and let “the man” mess with your immune system, but as for me….’96 and ’07 are memories I do not want to re-live.

(lygenztia *63) A simple "good! thanks for asking" would suffice.

Have you ever bumped into someone, asked how they're doing and gotten an epic novel for a response?

You know the type....you see them in the grocery store, both of you are running around trying to get home and you see them.
"Hey XXXXX, good to see you..how you doing?"
What you expect in response is "good, nice to see you too...say hi to everyone for me." That's kind of the standard, polite response.
Instead, they very publicly give you their life story. It's either bragging, or some type of desperate social inadequacy. If things are really that good (or bad) can't you call me, or drop in? I can try to help, or share in your successes.
Please don't yell at me across 2 lines at the A&P to tell me all about your dog's hysterectomy or about your seconds counsins-twin brothers-next door neighbours-sister, that had a bad basement flood and you're not sure how your going to cope.

Or then there is the old "we are sooo busy". Well, welcome to 2008 Michael Jackson! Who the hell isn't? I bump into people that collect social assistance and they tell me how busy they are. Huh? How can that be?

The "busy parents" are the worst.....(I am one, but I won't brag in this blog, yet) There is a huge difference between giving a friend some quick updates of significance and droning on and on about every little detail of your existence. Chances are, if you don't know where the line is drawn, people avoid you like tuberculosis in the 1930's.

C'mon, we all know the type........this is a sampling of what you get.

Greeting-Hey XXXX, nice to see you! How are you?

Response-"Oh, I am so busy..my son is singing for the Enniskillen choir next month and my daughter has a huge homework assignment (their daughter is in Grade 3) blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, ...we are soooo busy."...blah, blah, blah, blah..."I have to get groceries, go home and do the cleaning, get ready for company, go to work, drive the kids to hockey and get to the bank."

Well, let me tell you something, you just described about 95% of the Canadian population. We're all in the same boat.

And, the people that do this...they rarely ask you how YOU and YOUR family are. They give you a 3.5 minute speech about their busy, great life..then run away to their car, leaving a trail of spilled groceries and making frantic cell phone conversation.

Isn't it great when you bump into someone, ask them how they are doing and you get this?

A big smile, direct eye contact and the following statement.."we're great thanks, how are things at your place..why don't you guys come over for supper on Saturday?"

It absolutely makes your day..and theirs.

Make someone's day..don't make them hide 2 aisles over in the store when they see you.

(Lygenztia *62) C'mere boy...atta boy! Good dog...

Here's a newsflash. animals aren't human. They can't reason. They can be taught certain behaviours that resemble the ability to reason, but its really just repetition on the animal trainers part and spending time with the animal.

I would never advocate cruelty to animals, but I would also never put the well being of an animal over a human. I absolutely love dogs...and to a lesser extent, cats. I have rescued both from horrible situations....so don't go giving me some "holier than thou" rant.

BUT,

I am so sick of these new age weirdos that assign human character traits to animals, out of some misguided sense of caring about animals more than YOU do. Their thought process is something like this.... if I can convince you that animals think and act like humans, it proves I am more civilized and refined than you and that I love animals more than you.

The absolute worst of this type is the childless young couple with a small dog. They dress the dog up like a baby, take it to "doggy day care", tell people about the dog's behaviour (as if the dog can talk to them and they understand) and get very offended if you don't address the dog as if it were a small child. If the dog were to viciously attack a human, they would blame the human and demand they go to counselling, or dog sensitivity training.

C'mon, we all have met this type of person(s) at least once in our lives. Their dog does its business on your lawn and they tell you that they will "talk to" the dog about it. Huh? They are twisted..they think they can reason with the dog.

God bless pet dogs and cats, they actually lower your heart rate. God bless beasts of burden, they have helped humans over the millenia lessen the load.

Animals are amazing. Animals should never be abused.

But they sure as hell should never be given priority over humans. That's just common sense.

Throw me a bone on this one.

(lygenztia *61) And the winner is...

....not the Canadian people. Or at least those of us with a brain. It's election time and today was the advanced polls. I thought that I would excerise my Constitutional right and obligation as a Canadian citizen and get my vote in.

I thought wrong.

I have followed the issues, watched the debate, thought about the issues and tried to make an informed choice of our local candidates, in conjunction with a national leader.

So, what's the problem you ask?

I'll tell you what the problem is. There are far too many people without the mental faculties to participate meaningfully in the process. That's the problem.

The line in my electoral section only had 8 people in it. (I was one of them) Of that 8...3 persons in front of me had no identification with them. If you don't know enough to bring your identification with you, then you shouldn't be allowed to vote. Period.

If your comprehension level of the world around you is that low, that you didn't know you would need I.D. then it is scary to think that you have a say in the direction of this great country.

The "beauty" of the system is that without any identification a "relative" can swear an oath that you are who you say you are and "poof", you are legally entitled to vote! Of course, the electoral officer has to fill out 3 forms, all of which take about 10 minutes each. (Hardly an inconvenience to the people in line behind you at all)

Finally, having a finite amount of lunch time I had to leave, without casting my ballot. Besides, it was simply too painful to listen to the people in front of me any longer.

Quote-"Oh, you need identification? Really? When did they start that?"
(Someone actually said that)

Another quote-"I have a right to vote, I know my rights"
(yes, they said that too)

For gosh sakes buddy, show them a Drivers license or a damn OHIP card.

I don't know, maybe i'm just cranky today because I am worried about some family matters, but geez..c'mon, use your head.

It is so bloody easy to vote in Canada. You have to be a complete moron not to be able to cast your ballot.

Oh wait, I didn't cast mine...I guess that means i'm a moron. Damn, I wonder if the polling station is still open?

(with apologies to the vast, vast majority of Canadians that take the process seriously and think about it)

VOTE!!!!

(lygenztia *60) Leaders....or readers?

The age of the goddam teleprompter politician. These leadership debates are so scripted, so aimed at market based research that they might as well just read right from pre-prepared notes and leave.

This is a joke.

Show some goddam leadership. Somebody, please. Show emotion, embrace it and speak with passion. Speak from the heart every now and then. Give us an idea or sentiment that isn't rehearsed or memorized.

What the hell is wrong with showing you care about something? I watch these party "leaders" smiling, throwing softballs at each other and all are terrified to show some emotion. Are they afraid they will be perceived as weak? Do they think the vox populi will reject them because they care too much? You're not a loose cannon if you some some passion, when the occasion calls for it.

I'll go on record..I like Harper. But for crying out loud Stephen, get angry every now and then. Show some kick ass leader type passion. I am not saying you have to punch out Jack Layton, but for Gosh sakes, go for the jugular instead of sitting there with a smirk on your face. It makes you look weak..and I don't think you are.

The one I have the most respect for is Duceppe, at least he says what he feels and speaks up for the francophones. I completely disagree with his platform, but it sure would be nice if someone felt as passionate about English Canada.

Somebody, please, convince me that you can and want to lead this great Country.

Stop trying to placate the goddam media with these silly, scripted platitudes and speak to the people, because WE are the ones that vote. And WE, my fellow Canadians, are the ones that matter.

(lygenztia *59) Who'll stop the rain???

That's the line from the Creedence Clearwater Revival song...but now, it seems more like a plea.

Anybody else started to build an ark? I am pretty sure I saw Noah at the 7-11, stocking up on Slim-Jims.

I don't know about you guys, but I am finding all this damn rain to be depressing. It is brutal...every day it seems like it rains and you can't plan anything. To hell with the summer of the gun, this has been the summer of the flood.

I like to keep my Jeep clean, but every time I wash it I swear I am praying to the rain god. I am lucky if it stays sparkling for an hour before it rains AGAIN.

I guess it's good news-bad news. Our planter flowers are mostly dead, drowned. My vegetables are kicking ass. (sorry, technically speaking, that's bad news-good news. It just sounds better that way)

I know there is nothing that we can do about it, but damn I gotta complain. It makes me feel a wee bit better. Well, not really....

Who'll stop the rain?

Please, don't make me beg.


(with thanks to C.C.R.)

Long as I remember the rain been comin down.
Clouds of mystry pourin confusion on the ground.
Good men through the ages, tryin to find the sun;
And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain.

I went down virginia, seekin shelter from the storm.
Caught up in the fable, I watched the tower grow.
Five year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains.
And I wonder, still I wonder who'll stop the rain.

Heard the singers playin, how we cheered for more.
The crowd had rushed together, tryin to keep warm.
Still the rain kept pourin, fallin on my ears.
And I wonder, still I wonder who'll stop the rain.

(lygenztia *58) Happy wife...happy life.

Wise advice indeed.

The sooner a man learns "happy wife, happy life", the sooner he will be content in his marriage.

In the beginning of the marriage, most men (usually young) want to "assert their authority" and choose to challenge their wife on silly issues. So, we end up arguing, fighting or disagreeing (nice euphemism for fighting) over issues of "principle".

But guess what? She ALWAYS wins...and maybe that's not so bad. In my life, every issue that my wife and I disagreed on, she ended up being right in the end. It took me about 10 years to figure that out.

Now, with age, I have ended up realizing that the idea.."happy wife, happy life" is probably the most accurate statement ever made. I no longer disagree with my wife on things. Why bother? She will end up winning and deep down I have accepted, she is right anyway.

Once guys realize that they just need to capitulate on every issue, the sooner they will experience wedded bliss. I kid you not guys. Try it, it works.

Give in on every issue, give your wife whatever she wants. If she is happy, you will be happy and so will everyone around her.

Think about it....make her angry and you are having a not so great supper. (maybe none at all) Make her really angry and you are sleeping on the couch. Not much happening there....unless you have satellite and a box of tissue.
Like it or not guys, they have the power and they are way smarter than us at using it.

When women are happy, they are loving, giving, caring and alot of fun to be around. Happy is sexy...

When women are not happy, well...they scare me.

Now, if you'll excuse me I am going to ask my wife if I am allowed to publish this blog.