(Lygenztia *14) Who really wins?

Life is funny. Where you start is not where you finish and where you finish cannot be where you start. Why? Simple, because we change. Drastic, massive changes. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but of this fact there can be no argument. We change.

We start, wanting to win. We want to win at hide and seek. We want to win at sports and activities. And..it progresses, socially. We want most, to win friends. This need/desire begins at different age levels for most kids, but I would venture to say it starts very young. When we are young, we make friends naturally, with no bias, no prejudice, no agenda and total sincerity. We’ll call this category, the “purists”. For some, this sticks for life..and if it does, you are very, very fortunate.

This changes and progresses, sometimes for the worse. We start to choose friends that will help us win…and not necessarily ones that fit the mold of “no bias, no prejudice, no agenda”. We’ll call these ones, the “opportunists”. This is a social trap and very, very hard to avoid, even for the most confident. So, as we age and grow and develop we often get “pigeon holed” into a certain category. Depending on the category, you are happy (“popular kids”), content (“average kids” that just fit in) ..or miserable. (the poor buggers that get rejected)

As I’ve aged I’ve noticed a constant. The purists I know and have met,( typically) are very happy, well adjusted and full of life. They have succeeded, they have “won”. Good marriages, good jobs/careers, good life and surrounded with positive sentiment, social and community context.

The “opportunists”, well let’s just say most (typically) have definitely NOT “won”. Take the opposite of the above “purists”, insert it here and there you have it.Is this true %100 of the time? Of course not, but it sure fits a pretty constant pattern. One thing that I will never be accused of, was being popular in high school, nor was I “cool”. But, I held my own, had a good time and made some pretty good choices in my friends.

It never ceases to amaze me, the state of some of the “cool” people (always opportunists) that I have known and encounter from time to time. Some, with pathetic attempts to live in the past, some trying to fool Father Time and others, trying to fool themselves.

Sometimes, you walk away thinking….”thank god that’s not me”.

So, “who wins”? For others, you decide..based on your own moral compass. But really, as adults, we all instinctively know. Teenagers are easy to fool, adults are more adept at detecting a fraud.

The self test is easy….Those of us that “have won” already know it in our hearts, instantly. Step to the front of the line. Congratulations!

Those of us who have to wonder if we’ve won, also instantly have their answer. Because, if you have to think about it, the contest is over. Step to the end of the line.