Every day, I get anywhere from 2 to 15 e-mails..with titles like this:
"$159.95 100mg x 90 pills-Viagara"
"It was easier to go all the way than to stop-Cialis"
"Men can now benefit from this formula"
"She will want more and more of you"
Ok, fair enough..everyone needs to make a living and I actually don't begrudge them that. They need to peddle their products (in this case, sex enhancing drugs) and there is a market. Or, so i've heard.
My issue is this. Who told "them?"These e-mails (and again they are numerous) go into great detail about my various sexual inadequacies. So, somebody must have told them. Now, I am on record as stating unequivocally that I am no good at "the act". Whatever, I can handle that..learned to live with it. Made some...ahem..."adjustments".
But darn it, somebody told them. They let the cat out of the bag and me, without even the right of an appeal. I feel that I need to go to these pharmaceutical providers and "show them the goods", the "goods" being what they are. (Maybe I can fool them)
Dangit, every pharmaceutical provider on the web knows my dirty little secrets.
Did they secretly access my medical file?
Did they ask around?
Do they have spies, or covert operatives that hide in closets?
Are they working off military spy satellites?
Because, beleive it or not, these e-mail solicitations go into great detail. And they are accurate beyond description.
I mean c'mon...doesn't every guy want to "dazzle her with your tiger like prowess and cobra like strength.." or, "in just one short month increase in size by...", better yet there is "make her mother proud you married her daughter with your voracious sexual appetite".
Yes, all actual scripts from various and sundry e-mail solicitations. These are the things that every normal man craves. I am uncertain about a tiger's prowess, but it must be something else. I mean, hell, the e-mail describes it in great detail. And, well...the "making her mother proud" bit? Hell yes, I mean this is the stuff that normal people talk about over Christmas dinner.
So, if anyone knows who I can talk to about redeeming myself...please send me a note with contact information. (Unless, of course, you are getting these e-mails TOO!)
"$159.95 100mg x 90 pills-Viagara"
"It was easier to go all the way than to stop-Cialis"
"Men can now benefit from this formula"
"She will want more and more of you"
Ok, fair enough..everyone needs to make a living and I actually don't begrudge them that. They need to peddle their products (in this case, sex enhancing drugs) and there is a market. Or, so i've heard.
My issue is this. Who told "them?"These e-mails (and again they are numerous) go into great detail about my various sexual inadequacies. So, somebody must have told them. Now, I am on record as stating unequivocally that I am no good at "the act". Whatever, I can handle that..learned to live with it. Made some...ahem..."adjustments".
But darn it, somebody told them. They let the cat out of the bag and me, without even the right of an appeal. I feel that I need to go to these pharmaceutical providers and "show them the goods", the "goods" being what they are. (Maybe I can fool them)
Dangit, every pharmaceutical provider on the web knows my dirty little secrets.
Did they secretly access my medical file?
Did they ask around?
Do they have spies, or covert operatives that hide in closets?
Are they working off military spy satellites?
Because, beleive it or not, these e-mail solicitations go into great detail. And they are accurate beyond description.
I mean c'mon...doesn't every guy want to "dazzle her with your tiger like prowess and cobra like strength.." or, "in just one short month increase in size by...", better yet there is "make her mother proud you married her daughter with your voracious sexual appetite".
Yes, all actual scripts from various and sundry e-mail solicitations. These are the things that every normal man craves. I am uncertain about a tiger's prowess, but it must be something else. I mean, hell, the e-mail describes it in great detail. And, well...the "making her mother proud" bit? Hell yes, I mean this is the stuff that normal people talk about over Christmas dinner.
So, if anyone knows who I can talk to about redeeming myself...please send me a note with contact information. (Unless, of course, you are getting these e-mails TOO!)
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