Beer league hockey is woven into the thread of the Canadian adult male fabric, so much so that it's stories are legendary. If you don't play, you are missing out.
(Women have discovered the fun and women's leagues are cropping up everywhere.)
I absolutely stink at hockey. I know it, my team-mates know it and they tolerate me. I have improved moderately, but the skill isn't really what keeps the beer league team together. It's what you bring to the table. Some, make great conversation in the dressing room and make the guys laugh. Some, never utter a word, but score and play like crazy.
Makes no difference to the Team, as long as you bring something to the table. Beer league is something I look forward to all week. It's my chance to make beleive that "I coulda been a contender" and have my "one last shot at glory".
Beer league has a "code" and the "code" becomes more and more clear, the older you get. If you know the "code', you understand. If you don't then you don't play hockey (beer league) and I couldn't explain it to you anyway.
Pros
1) Fun
2) Therapeutic
3) good exercise...good for your health
4) maintain social contact
Cons
1) grounds for divorce
2) potentially decreases work productivity
3) bad diet...bad for your health
4) potential for injury
To balance these line items..some of the Pros and Cons "cancel" eachother out.
Take for example..mmmm...1) Fun
Some men have too much fun, staying out all night and possibly taking up a "friendship" with the waitress. Uh, oh...Houston, we have a problem. Thus, Con 1) grounds for divorce. Also, add in Con 2)..because man, it is tough to be at your peak when you got in at 3:30AM and the good ole' work day starts at 6:00AM. Yipee...2.5 hours of quality sleep. Man, am I gonna plow through those e-mails today!
2) Therapeutic....we go to hockey and complain about our jobs and wives. We love to complain, because we love both. (jobs and wives) By complaining and making it public, you are only re-affirming that you love these things. Because if you didn't give a shit, you wouldn't talk about them. It's such a great way to let everything out in a non-threatening atmosphere.
The other nite, I was getting over a bout of the flu and played probably the worst game I had played in my life. I felt awful, cause it was a playoff game and I didn't help the Team and I felt awful cause I still had stomach cramps. I didn't even drink my beer...which for me is grounds for psychiatric evaluation. So, one of the guys comes over to me and says.."hey roddie, you alright?" Pretty cool...because that's what team mates do.
In any other environment..it would go something like this:
Guy 1-"Hey Max, what's wrong with Pete?"
Guy2-"What the hell do I look like, a Doctor? What do I give a shit?"
Not so, the beer league.
3) Good exercise...good for your health
Hmmm...debatable. Some men, do no physical exercise, other than hockey and yet play their ass off..totally disregarding the fact that thier body is saying..."hey idiot, slow down..you're not 20 anymore...the lungs and heart can't keep up". You look at your team mate on the bench, who is sweating profusely, having trouble breathing and has the facial colour of a late fall cherry...and say..."hey Pete, you OK?"
Answer-"pant, pant..hell ya, never better..i'm on next shift...pant, pant."
And to justify playing (to our wives) we say.."it's good exercise". Funny thing....we burn maybe 600-800 calories in game. Then, we go to the bar drink beer, eat wings and take in about 90,000 calories...just before bed. But in our minds, we are staying healthy. To me, it's a great trade off...well worth it.
4) Potential for injury
Some men (not me) will call in sick to work if their hair is sore. Yet, we will play hockey with a broken finger, or separated shoulder. We won't go on the roof and clean out the eavestrough because we"don't want to get hurt" and are "too valuable to our employer". Yet, we wil charge head first into the boards at full speed, to get the puck first. (But, that's different)
Possibly, the most humorous part of beer league is the husband/wife interaction after the game. One of my favourite things to do, is wake my wife up at 2:00AM from a dead sleep and tell her about the great pass I made. I have to tell her about the pass, because I never score. (Oh ya, she loves that about me)
We tell them about the game, they are pretending to listen..but thinking about painting the kitchen. They tell us about painting the kitchen and we pretend to listen and help "pick colours", but we're thinking about hockey.
Sometimes... I bitch about the "loss". Get home, mope around and grump about the loss, mumbling "stupid hockey..never playing again". My wife pulls the covers over her head and mutters .."yes dear"....and giggles to herself.
She knows full well that on the next game day, I will be up at 5:30AM, checking my equipment...for an 11:30PM game that night.
Gotta be ready, this is beer league. Big game tonite!
(Women have discovered the fun and women's leagues are cropping up everywhere.)
I absolutely stink at hockey. I know it, my team-mates know it and they tolerate me. I have improved moderately, but the skill isn't really what keeps the beer league team together. It's what you bring to the table. Some, make great conversation in the dressing room and make the guys laugh. Some, never utter a word, but score and play like crazy.
Makes no difference to the Team, as long as you bring something to the table. Beer league is something I look forward to all week. It's my chance to make beleive that "I coulda been a contender" and have my "one last shot at glory".
Beer league has a "code" and the "code" becomes more and more clear, the older you get. If you know the "code', you understand. If you don't then you don't play hockey (beer league) and I couldn't explain it to you anyway.
Pros
1) Fun
2) Therapeutic
3) good exercise...good for your health
4) maintain social contact
Cons
1) grounds for divorce
2) potentially decreases work productivity
3) bad diet...bad for your health
4) potential for injury
To balance these line items..some of the Pros and Cons "cancel" eachother out.
Take for example..mmmm...1) Fun
Some men have too much fun, staying out all night and possibly taking up a "friendship" with the waitress. Uh, oh...Houston, we have a problem. Thus, Con 1) grounds for divorce. Also, add in Con 2)..because man, it is tough to be at your peak when you got in at 3:30AM and the good ole' work day starts at 6:00AM. Yipee...2.5 hours of quality sleep. Man, am I gonna plow through those e-mails today!
2) Therapeutic....we go to hockey and complain about our jobs and wives. We love to complain, because we love both. (jobs and wives) By complaining and making it public, you are only re-affirming that you love these things. Because if you didn't give a shit, you wouldn't talk about them. It's such a great way to let everything out in a non-threatening atmosphere.
The other nite, I was getting over a bout of the flu and played probably the worst game I had played in my life. I felt awful, cause it was a playoff game and I didn't help the Team and I felt awful cause I still had stomach cramps. I didn't even drink my beer...which for me is grounds for psychiatric evaluation. So, one of the guys comes over to me and says.."hey roddie, you alright?" Pretty cool...because that's what team mates do.
In any other environment..it would go something like this:
Guy 1-"Hey Max, what's wrong with Pete?"
Guy2-"What the hell do I look like, a Doctor? What do I give a shit?"
Not so, the beer league.
3) Good exercise...good for your health
Hmmm...debatable. Some men, do no physical exercise, other than hockey and yet play their ass off..totally disregarding the fact that thier body is saying..."hey idiot, slow down..you're not 20 anymore...the lungs and heart can't keep up". You look at your team mate on the bench, who is sweating profusely, having trouble breathing and has the facial colour of a late fall cherry...and say..."hey Pete, you OK?"
Answer-"pant, pant..hell ya, never better..i'm on next shift...pant, pant."
And to justify playing (to our wives) we say.."it's good exercise". Funny thing....we burn maybe 600-800 calories in game. Then, we go to the bar drink beer, eat wings and take in about 90,000 calories...just before bed. But in our minds, we are staying healthy. To me, it's a great trade off...well worth it.
4) Potential for injury
Some men (not me) will call in sick to work if their hair is sore. Yet, we will play hockey with a broken finger, or separated shoulder. We won't go on the roof and clean out the eavestrough because we"don't want to get hurt" and are "too valuable to our employer". Yet, we wil charge head first into the boards at full speed, to get the puck first. (But, that's different)
Possibly, the most humorous part of beer league is the husband/wife interaction after the game. One of my favourite things to do, is wake my wife up at 2:00AM from a dead sleep and tell her about the great pass I made. I have to tell her about the pass, because I never score. (Oh ya, she loves that about me)
We tell them about the game, they are pretending to listen..but thinking about painting the kitchen. They tell us about painting the kitchen and we pretend to listen and help "pick colours", but we're thinking about hockey.
Sometimes... I bitch about the "loss". Get home, mope around and grump about the loss, mumbling "stupid hockey..never playing again". My wife pulls the covers over her head and mutters .."yes dear"....and giggles to herself.
She knows full well that on the next game day, I will be up at 5:30AM, checking my equipment...for an 11:30PM game that night.
Gotta be ready, this is beer league. Big game tonite!
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