(Lygenztia *50) God...would a hello ever be nice.

I swear to God every single time my son sees me I get this...

"Can I have $789.00 to buy a matching pair of Abercrombie jeans and shoes?"
"Can I sleep over in a backyard with 6 kids I met yesterday? I forget their names and where they live."
"Can I have some money?"
"Are you working tomorrow? I might need a ride to get Slurpees."
"Am I allowed to go to the 3AM movie on saturday night and walk home through the vacant lot where the homeless men sleep?"
"Would it be OK if I took my real looking paintball gun uptown without a case or cover and showed it to the bank staff?"
"Is it OK if 237 people sleep over tonite?"
"Can I have some money?"
"I lost my cell phone..will you go get me another?"
"Can I get all new hockey equipment today?"(hockey doesn't start for 3 months)
"Can I have some money?"

Why in the hell can't he ever just say hello to me? Why? Why? Why?

I swear to God that little bugger lays awake at night thinking of stuff to ask me, just to piss me off. I can just picture him giggling behind the venetian blinds as I walk up the sidewalk....snickering to himself, thinking...today I am going to ask for ..hmmmmm..lemme think now..OK, my own not yet invented levitation device.

My daughter, asks me for something about once a week...and almost always, I agree and oblige. Thats beacuse girls are smart and boys are well....."athletic". Pffhht...ya...whatever.

I need a strategy to deal with the walking, talking, breathing, request machine to give my life some peace and reduce my stress levels.

I think I shall use a Druid type strategy where I answer every question/request he asks of me.....with a question/request.

For example:
Son-"Can I have some money?"
Dad-"Can YOU clean up the dog shit in the back yard?"

Son-"Can you go buy me another Lacrosse stick? I only have 13."
Dad-"Can YOU go clean up your room and vaccum the floor?"

Son-"Can 283 people sleep over on a work/school nite?"
Dad-"Can YOU go door to door collecting beer bottles to help raise money for me to pay for your hockey?"

Son-"Can I go to Germany to see how they make chocolate?"
Dad-"Can YOU give your head a friggin shake?"

Son-"in 2012, do you think that we will still have sidewalks?"
Dad-"in 2012 do you think crystal ball technology will be better?"

Part of the problem is the boy is a dreamer and I guess he gets that honestly, but it sure would be nice if he could put all that creative thinking to work on how to help clean the goddam house.

I guess I shouldn't complain, he's a nice kid and I do love him but damn, can he not just say hello every now and then?

For example..

Son-"Hey Dad."
Dad-"Son, just for that...you can have anything you want."

Kids....sheesh.