(lygenztia *154) I'm starving?????

I don’t understand my kids. A common complaint that can be heard in our home is “there’s nothing to eat” (insert whiney moaning here). If you LOOK, you will find cooked meat, cheese, fruit, yogurt, Kraft Dinner, cereal, bagels, granola bars, soup, crackers…etc. etc. etc.

Then, comes the next statement and all parents have heard it. "I'm starving".

So, feeling guilty when I hear the familiar complaint “there’s nothing to eat”….. I go to the grocery store and spend what amounts to almost a mortgage payment on “snacks” and quick and (hopefully) healthy foods.

Then inevitably, a few weeks later I am throwing things out that have expired. As I do, my son is looking over my shoulder into the fridge.

What does he say? “there’s nothing to eat”.

(lygenztia *153) Lord help us! We're at a Level 6!

I’m really not getting the hysteria over swine flu, or “H1N1”. They changed the name of the “swine flu”, they had no choice. Why? Because all the furor and panic caused weak minded people to stop buying pork.

We are at a “Stage 6”, according to the World Health Organization. We are on the verge of a “pandemic”. Everyday, the media tells us that we are all about to fall prey to this “killer”.

Huh?

There are currently less than 600 cases in all of Canada. 600. That number alone, to me, is interesting. Have you ever wondered how many people in one single city have the flu over the course of one week of January? This is from the official Health Canada website:

“Influenza (or flu) is a common respiratory illness affecting millions of Canadians each year. In Canada, flu season usually runs from November to April.”

In the week of Jan 11-17th (2009), there were 3111 cases of flu diagnosed and reported in Canada. Add to that number, the numerous cases that were not reported from those of us that “tough it out”.

Every winter, we have flu season. I am led to understand that the flu strain changes every year, which is why they have to change the vaccination. Every year, the flu strain is different, or “new”.

You'll pardon me, for those affected but to be honest......I fail to see the pandemic here. For those of us that have read Stephen King’s novel, “The Stand”, I hardly see the parallels. Maybe the government and medical community have done such a fantastic job of containing H1N1, that we have nothing to fear. Every time I turn on the news, the media is trying to get us all worked into a tizzy, demanding we stay tuned, blah, blah, blah.

For many Canadians, we are starting to hear the media cry wolf just a little too often.

(lygenztia *152) Ummm, just a sec. Gotta think on it...

Have you ever noticed that when people are under stress, or nervous, they have to think about answers to simple questions? You really notice it when people call into radio stations and they have won at a call in contest.

You also see it in social situations when a person isn’t comfortable.

Case in point….
Question-“What’s your address?”
Answer-“Ummmmmm….12 King Street”
Question-“What city?”
Answer-“Ummmm…Tyrone”

You actually had to think about that? Huh???

Or….
Question-“What’s your birthday?”
Answer-“Ummmmm….”

Like, what the hell? It’s not a trick question. Be confident when people ask you simple questions….don’t hesitate. Because if they think you’re not that bright…..and you hesitate on a simple question?

Well, then you just proved them right.

(lygenztia *151) "Parent of the Year" pffhhht...

Ever met the “over-parent”? (That’s my word…and be warned, it’s copyrighted)
You know the type, they have read every book, attended every course and joined parenting groups. Trouble is, this type of person has absolutely no common sense.

A few weekends ago, I was at a soccer game. It poured rain…and I mean poured. The fields were soaked and muddy, which is how the kids like them anyway. As I wandered around, I noticed a group of moms and kids walking to the field they were playing at. What does mom say to her son?

“Stay out of the puddles, dear, you’ll get wet..” She actually whined when she said it. Then, she gave her friends a smug look that said…”aren’t I the greatest mother here?”

Ya, well um…here’s the thing mom. Once that game starts, your little guy is going to be covered in mud, soaked and be having the time of his life.

And, he’ll have a ton of fun. Despite your “parenting” warnings for him to stay out of the puddles.

Wow, you sure taught him a life lesson.

(lygenztia *150) Not quite what I had in mind.

May is the busiest month of the year for me. I have had no time whatsoever to write, but I do have alot of topics in my head.

For the time being, a poem. The author is unknown, so unfortunately I cannot give credit. Please..read on.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and its turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When they might have won, had they stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit

Please keep coming back, I plan to re-commence writing next week in full flare.

(lygenztia *149) Cookie monster?

Saw this family “shopping” recently at an outlet/wholesale cookie store. They had their child with them and it was about 1:45PM in the afternoon. Tehir child appeared to be about 10 years of age. Guess he was too sick to be in school, but well enough to be cookie tasting.

I absolutely could not believe what I saw. These “people” would open a package of cookies, eat one and then put the package back if they decided they didn’t like them.

I am not kidding. Unreal. A staff approached them and asked “excuse me, what are you doing?” This couple were absolutely put out that the clerk would ask such a question. They answered curtly that they wanted to make sure they liked them before they bought them. And they did not see anything wrong with this.

Wow.

So, as I am getting ready to leave I see this family come out and load up their van. On the back of their junky old van was a convenience store logo. They were stocking up alright, I assume for re-sale at their store and (based on their girth), consumption.

Wonder what lard ass would say if someone went in his convenience store, opened items, tested them and then put back the unused portion? (unpaid for, of course)

Just a guess, but I bet it wouldn’t be “excuse me, what are you doing?”

(lygenztia *148) My people....

I want my personal trainer to be a perfect physical specimen.
I want my doctor to be a non-smoker.
I want my lawyer to be such a prick that even I don’t like them.
I want my mechanic to be fair.
I want my mayor to actually be from my town.
I want my financial planner to drive a Cadillac and live in a monster home.
I want my police chief to act like Dick Tracy.
I want my bank manager to act less like my boss and more like I’m important.
I want my parking enforcement officer to work in another town.
I want my neighbour to worry less about me and more about themselves.
I want my garbage man to put more into the truck, than he spills on my street corner.
I want my snowplow driver to push less snow in my driveway. (much less)
I want my newspaper boy to be the retired guy that actually delivers it.
I want the chef at my favourite restaurant to be chubby.
I want the summer ice cream truck driver to have a police records check.
I want the taxi driver to be off the cell phone when I’m in the car.
I want my pilot to have to undergo random drug testing.
I want my Priests, Ministers and Reverends to be close to God, but far from the Church.
I want autoworkers to be as sympathetic to other labour causes, as they want people to be to theirs.

For now, that's all I want.

But, there's sure to be more.