(lygenztia *219) Real peanut butter lovers prefer crunchy

Pretty pumped this morning. I have toast and peanut butter every day for breakfast. But today, my friends, well today was different. Why? Because I had Jif brand crunchy peanut butter, with my toast that’s why.


No cheap, crappy no-name, bargain brand peanut butter for this kid. No sir, I’ve got the real freaking deal……..Jif brand peanut butter.

Found it in the store this morning, didn’t even know you could still get the stuff. Let’s be honest here folks, Jif is only the best peanut butter in the UNIVERSE.

Been under a lot of stress lately, but Jif just made it all better. Sometimes, when you’re under stress it’s the little things that can help open up our body’s pressure release valve.

(lygenztia *218) No way, like you landed it dude...uh, no way!

Why do middle aged men wear skateboard shoes? Is it because they idolize Tony Hawk? Are they actually skateboarders in their spare time?


I go by our local skate park all the time and I don’t see any gown men there “boarding”. I do see young men there, hanging out and performing their little “skateboard tricks”, but that’s another story. I mean, what the hell possesses a 20 something year old to spend his hours doing “skateboard tricks”? Like, are they planning on making a career out of it?

Anyway, I notice a trend where middle age men are wearing these skateboard shoes. So, for the middle age men, I give you the following advice;

Fashion tip # 1-If you wear skateboard shoes, you look like an idiot.
Fashion tip #2-See Fashion tip #1

(repeat)

Please, get some proper shoes and show the rest of the world that you can actually bend over to tie them up. Unless of course you’re trying to avoid bending over, to hide your plumbers crack…

HEY! I think I just figured out why some middle age men wear skateboard shoes….

(lygenztia *217) No wonder Jesus overturned their tables....

Someone hit wrong key? You have got to be kidding me!

One of the biggest stock market crashes in history last week and we are told "it might have been because someone pushed the wrong button" on a trade? Ya, right.

A quick look at my bank statement shows I am no financial wizard, but c'mon.

It's no wonder people are so apathetic and cynical anymore. We get fed constant BS and we're supposed to just say "d'uh..ok" These magical financial wizards that control our investments, pensions, and the future well being of our economy "pushed the wrong button" causing a massive market crash? Yes, how very likely.

Funny how that same "button" never resulted in any pension or investment over payments. So bloody careless with other people's money and futures.

Its disgusting.

(lygentzia *216) Any Hulkamaniacs out there?

Hulk Hogan can wear sleeveless t-shirts, 'cause he's boasting 24 inch pythons. However..........

Its funny when overweight men wear t-shirts that have the sleeves cut out. I used to think it was a comfort issue, but now i'm not so sure.

Maybe, its to show off those "big arms". But, its easy to have big arms when everything else on you is big. (Gut, arse, legs, chins) Its only natural, actually.

So, why do they do it? Is it because they think people will be so overwhelmed with their "big" blubbery, gubbery arms that people wont notice that their gut is 2 weeks ahead of their arse?

Or maybe a distraction? So that people won't notice that their chin(s) has powdered sugar sitting inside the folds?

Listen up "big arm" guys, you may not get recruited for the cover of a fitness magazine, but try some sleeves. At least they'll keep your shoulders from getting sun burned.


Big arm man says to his buddy "-did anyone call a plumber?
Buddy-"no, why?"
Big arm man flexes his arms and says to his buddy-"because these pipes are about to burst!"