(lygenztia #280) Everyone with me....N-U-C-L-E-A-R

If you are a politician, educator, newscaster or journalist and cannot properly pronounce "nuclear", you should be summarily fired.

Nuclear is an incredibly easy word to pronounce, for God's sake. When nuclear is pronounced "NOOKULER", its just wrong. So, wrong. Drives me crazy when I hear it pronounced incorrectly, especially by "educated" persons.

For those that can't say it with me, here's some help (before you get fired):
NOO-CLEE-AR
again now..
NOO-CLEE-AR
and one more...
NOO-CLEE-AR

There! You got it. Eureka!

Now, if you will excuse me I need to step out to purchase some aloonimun foil for some baking.

(lygenztia #279) Oh, you gonna cry now, little baby?

I am one of the classically conditioned (that's Pavlov, for the unwashed) 40 something's that are completely incapable of showing emotion when I watch television. Why?

Well, I grew up in a generation when you had only one TV in the home and everyone watched the same program. Add to that equation, I was raised in a large family, which overall wasn't so bad. (one bathroom is the next blog)

This had an unusual "emotional stunting" effect, especially when you watched TV with your older brothers and sisters. If you watched a particularly touching, tear jerker episode of, for example, Little House on the Prarie you didn't dare shed a tear, or show any kind of weakness. If you did, older brother and sister would say "awww...look at the little baby, gonna cry now?". Better to just leave the room to make a peanut butter and jam sandwich when Charles Ingalls tore at your heart strings.

Now, as for humour...if you laughed at "adult" or older kid humour you were ok. (example: The Carol Burnett Show) But, if you dared to laugh at "kid show" humour you would get "oh ya, real funny. Grow up ya little baby".

What the Hell? No matter what we did, my sister and I were little babies in our older siblings eyes. Maybe I should have taken up smoking at 8. Actually..come to think of it, some kids did back then. (ah, another blog)

So, watching TV when I was a kid made for a mix of emotional de-programming and good times with the family. Kinda weird, but I turned out OK. After all, I can cry in a theatre when my brothers and sisters aren't around. But maybe, it's just the price of the popcorn that upsets me.

(lygenztia #278) Ooooh, the "scary" gym dude.

Ya, ya, i'm judgmental. If you don't like it, stop reading and go away. Nobody reads my blog anyway, so if you leave it keeps me at a perfect "zero". And that anonymity contributes to my bravery to indulge and write whatever the hell I feel like writing.

Ah, the topic...right. Almost forgot. So, this "ass-hat" at my gym wears a black toque pulled way down low over his head so you can barely see his eyes. I guess his eye brows are chilly. He always looks quite stern too. He is no child, he's actually about my age which is not quite 50. My gym is always quite warm, what with the indoor warmth and all the bodies emanating radiant heat from their work out efforts. So, i'm guessing he's not chilly.

So, my guess would be this......

"ass-hat" is an insecure fool that wants to give off an appearance of being "scary and tough". (which is quite a look for a middle aged man) Well, you have succeeded in part "ass-hat" because you can be sure I won't try to fight you. (which is also what absolutely everybody does at the gym) You can also be sure that I will laugh at you whenever I see you, as do all the other members.

At least nobody is messing with you, "ass-hat".

(lygenztia #277) That is correct. It is cold out and we are in Canada.

Went for a drive yesterday looking for some potential early morning photos. And, yes, it was cold. Record cold apparently. Let's be clear, I do not "like" the cold. I hate it actually. But that said I can take it because I am Canadian.

I grinned as I listened to the radio, the NBA All-Star game is in Toronto and the radio personalities were bemoaning the cold and were quite concerned that this would perpetuate the Canada "cold" stereotype. Oh for crying out loud, get over yourselves and quit being so concerned with impressing the rest of the planet. It IS cold in Canada in the Winter, cold obviously being a subjective term for Canadians. And, objective for the rest of the world.

I did manage to get a few photos despite the record breaking cold. I wasn't thrilled with them, but it was too damn cold to stand outside my truck for long. Like I said, I don't like the cold but I can take it. For very, very short periods.

(lygenztia #276) Oh, GROW UP!

What the hell is considered immature behaviour when you are actually an adult? The other day someone told me I was immature. Well, hot damn, that's a compliment in my books! I'm pushing 50 and I still haven't grown up yet. So, to call me immature....well, let me tell you, that's one hell of an observation, Sherlock.

Guess I have at least 70 good years left in me then? As I continue to grow and "mature".

So when exactly is the magic state, or age, that you "grow up"?. Damned if I know. But I'll tell you what I do know kids...the same people that tell you to "grow up" can be basically described by the following characteristics:

-stodgy
-boring
-self loathing
-still doing the same old things they did 30 years ago
-have never (willingly) left their comfort zone
-have never got up at 3:00AM and went to Burger King for no reason other to grab an awesome burger
-have never been handed a toy phone from a child and then, pretended to answer it
-have never put on a woman's hat in a department store and chased their wife around yelling loudly "Honey, can I get this?"

and most of all they are...

-NOT funny
-NOT fun
-hard to be around

I do not want to be any of those things. So, stick "mature" in a sack, Captain Boring. I'm good to go, wherever I go, smiling and making people laugh. If that's immature, then so be it because I don't imagine i'll ever grow up.

Check out this link, i've never heard of this guy but he says it all. (and says it well)
http://www.heathpadgett.com/11-ways-to-become-the-most-boring-person-in-the-whole-world/

(lygenztia #275) Don't hate the game.........

Have you ever seen somebody do something and thought to yourself "I hate people that do that."
For example, a person picking their nose in public.

Have you ever seen somebody with something and thought to yourself "I hate people with that."
For example, a person with longer legs than you and thusly, walks more quickly than you. Ergo "I hate people with long legs".

Well stop. Hate the action, or the "thing" but don't hate the person. That's too strong and you become a HATER. Slowly but surely you will morph into a HATER.

Here are the substitutes to repeat in your mind when confronted with an act or "thing" which draws your ire. Take note of the verbage, my pupils:

"I hate it when people do that."
From the example; a person picking their nose in public.

"I hate it when people have longer legs than me."
From the example; a person with longer legs than you and thusly, walks more quickly than you.

There, lessons from a certified grumpkin on how to be nice. Damn, if that ain't a novel concept.

(lygenztia #274) Good ole Canadian boys, I'll tell you what....

The Maple Lake Annual Hockey game was this weekend. Guys, are guys. Good ole Canadian boys, digging out nets, plowing and shoveling the lake, all in the name of a shinny game.

We laugh, we drink (too much), we eat (too much), tease or "carve" each other mercilessly and play some hockey. The hockey, really, is just a subset of the bonding experience which men crave and live for. Unless you get mercilessly teased by everyone at least once, generally speaking you are not liked by the others. We all take our turn; our weaknesses exposed and our worst moments re-told over and over. But then again, everyone gets their turn.

As the day wears on, feet get cold and guys start to get tired. Someone will yell out "OK boys, first team to get to 10 goals wins it all!" And, with this announcement it is mutually understood that this game matters. The funny thing is nobody really cares who "won" the final game when the day is over.

Win the final game and you get bragging rights and with that tenth goal comes the celebration, which is always short and somewhat understated. After all there is beer to be drank and other people who haven't had their turn being carved yet.

(lygenztia #273) Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi.....

You gotta love the "meme" generators that you can find on the web. One picture, a few lines added and hilarity ensues. For those of you asking what a meme is; I offer the following (borrowed) definition:

"a humorous image, video, piece of text, etc. that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly by Internet users".

I create these little buggers at work to cheer people up, make them laugh and sometimes make them think.
One little picture + a little imagination = fun and laughs.

Feel free to create your own and tailor it to your situation. I found a pretty cool meme generator, just click here

Just remember, BE NICE!

(lygentzia *272) Yum.....

One of the more fascinating aspects of social media is that many of us have taken to photographing (and posting) pictures of food. I do it, others do it...damn; everybody does it.

Time was, the only pictures of food you saw were found in Betty Crocker cookbooks, restaurant menus and IGA flyers. I haven't the foggiest idea what commenced this digital Food porn phenomenon, but digital photography and social media definitely aided and abetted.

Now, if you will excuse me I simply must take photos of my Corn Flakes.

By the way, if you ever get the chance eat at B'Doggs in Brantford. They have the best Po' Boy sandwiches this side of new Orleans. And, that's a fact.